Insanity gone Wild?
by Hee-Haa
Summary: I really suck at summaries but, here it goes... Will Riza ever find a way to get the colonel, Ed, Al, Armstrong and Hughes back to normal? Their complete insanity is driving her mad and she doesn't know what to do. Rated T just to be safe. Purely crack


**Chaos and insanity are my best friends! Where would I be without them! – Well, figuring that one out involves thinking... so, maybe I'll figure it out when I feel like thinking... I don't think that'll be any time soon...**

Ed and Al decided to return to Central after they and the girls went to Resembool. Ed decided that it was about time to face the one, the only Colonel Mustang himself. Little did they know that things had pretty much been turned upside down at Central Command Centre when they were gone.

**Let the insanity begin!**

Roy pranced flamboyantly around the office throwing his paperwork around as it were confetti while singing the bridal march.

"The sparkly- pink unicorn and the washed-up whale-frog are going to live happily ever after!" He said happily. Ed and Al walked in at that moment.

"He's been watching 'Happy Time Milky Moo- Moo Friends' while dealing with the confiscated drugs again, hasn't he?" Ed said. Riza simply nodded and rubbed her temples.

"I wish the Fuhrer _never_ assigns him to that job _ever_ again." She said.

"HAPPY TIME MILKY MOO -MOO FRIENDS!" Al gleamed. "I LOVE THAT SHOW!" Al and Roy began to waltz around the room singing the theme song

"MOO, MOO, MOO, CLUCK, NEIGH!" They heard a voice say from the hallway. Armstrong burst through the door wearing a mini skirt and high- heels. His sparkles seemed to be sparkling in a different way today.

"Oh, Edward!" He said as he skipped over and pulled him into a tight embrace. Ed felt his ribcage crack. "Do you like my pwetty new sparkles? I got them from a nice man on the street. She told me they bring out my eyes!"

"She? I thought you said it was a man." Riza said for Ed.

"I couldn't tell but, the singing llama that stood on the leprechaun next to the man-lady had a lovely voice." There was something about the room that seemed to make any person of the male gender go completely insane.

Armstrong dropped Ed on the floor and headed in Al's direction.

"WAHHH! It seems that my only friend in this cruel, cruel world is the toilet!" Ed wailed. "It's always been there for me when I needed it." Roy started doing the pee pee dance.

"I gotta go to the little colonel's room!"

"Well, what are you waiting for?" Riza said. Roy remained silent for a while and continued to jump around on the spot.

"I'll be back." He eventually said. He dashed out of the room and down the hallway.

He returned a while later looking relived.

"Did you enjoy your pee, colonel?" Ed grinned.

"Why yes, yes I did!" He marched in gleefully. Maes had appeared out of nowhere- Literally!

"Um, Roy, does Superman fly high or low?" He said, snickering. It took a while for it to click but, it eventually did.

"Well, this is awkward..." Roy turned around and did what he had to do.

"Who watches Happy Time Milky Moo-Moo Friends anymore?" Maes picked up the DVD cover.

"All the cool kids do!" Ed said.

"Never. Dis. Happy Time Milky Moo-Moo Friends. Got it?" Al glared at Maes.

"And that's an order." Roy added. Suddenly dots of many colours filled the room. Everyone was confuzzeled.

"They're not just any colours." Ed pointed out. "They're RAINBOW colours!" Riza was the only one that wasn't able to see those damned coloured dots. No matter how hard she tried to see them and everywhere she looked, she just couldn't see the dots!

_Hmmm maybe I'm the only sane one left._ Riza thought. She smiled to herself._ Now to cause the colonel some hell. Maybe acting `innocent' all this time has paid off after all. _

Ed suddenly dropped to the floor yelling. "I AM A CATERPILLAR!" He rolled into a ball and stayed like that. Roy fell back into his chair and laughed uncontrollably, snorting slightly as he inhaled.

"Ummmm, what's he doing?" Al said, tilting his head slightly as he looked at the colonel rolling around on his chair, flamboyantly flailing his arms around as he laughed.

"HE'S HAVING A LOLGASAM!" Maes said. Ed squirmed around Maes' feet.

"CATERPILLAR! CATTERPILLAR!" He yelled.

"And then the caterpillar turns into a beautiful butterfly." Roy said when he stopped laughing. He stood up on his chair and flapped his arms. Suddenly, some butterfly wings sprouted from his back and he flew around the room.

"What happened to your super man cape, colonel?" Al asked.

"I lost it... So I resorted to epic butterfly wings!"

Ed got to his feet.

"I'm hungry! Gimme food," He yelled "NOW!" A plate with a toasted cheese sandwich appeared in front of Al.

"Mmmmmm, sammich" Ed said as he licked his lips, looking longingly at the sandwich. Al picked it up and took a bite.

"Save me some!" Ed exclaimed. Al kept eating it.

"Mmmmmmmm" He over exaggerated the chewing to show how delicious it was.

"Come on, Al. I'm ravishing... and starving"

"Ravishing?"

"Yes." Ed did a hairflick and smiled. "Rrrrrravishing."

-Cue screaming fangirls-

Meanwhile...

Riza was sitting in the background watching the chaos unfold, contemplating whether to report the unexplained behaviour of the boys or to play a prank or four on them while they're out of it.

"Where's Hughes?" Roy said in a panicked way. His butterfly wings disappeared and he fell to the ground with a great "Oof."

Ed, Al, Armstrong, Maes and Riza looked up. "Hmm?" They all said.

"He just disappeared in a puff of smoke!" Hughes stood in front of the bewildered colonel. He opened his mouth to say something but Riza signalled him to stay quiet.

_This could work!_ She thought.


End file.
